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Jul. 21st, 2012 10:05 pm
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[personal profile] paroxysm posting in [community profile] enchanted_sorting
Name: Jess
Age: 30
Recommended by: [personal profile] lenabee

| WHO ARE YOU |

01.) What are your goals in life? I'd like to continue to work full time. I'm basically a contract employee and it's semester-to-semester work so I am working full time in the fall but who knows about the future after that. If I could get a real full-time job I'd be happy, but there are never any openings in my field. I am also considering getting my teaching certificate and teaching at the high school level. I'd like to publish some stories/books. I sent one novella to a publisher and it got rejected and I totally lost heart even though I know rejections are common. So I'd at least like to try harder before giving up. I'd also like to be at a healthy weight. I'd like to pay off my credit card debt and my car loan. I'd like to save money for my child to go to college. I'd like to fix up my house and yard so that I love it instead of merely tolerating it.

02.) What do you care about most? My child. This seems somewhat self-explanatory.

03.) What is one thing you would change about the world today? Oh gosh, there is so much that needs changing and from my American-centric viewpoint there are a lot of things that I could fix here at home, but I think I have to put the worldwide viewpoint to use here and say a cure for and vaccine for AIDS.

04.) Is there anything in your life that you regret? I don't know that regrets are all that helpful, but I do think there are some things I might try differently if I had them to do over again. I'm not sure they would have worked out and perhaps things would have ended up for the worse if I did things differently, but I do wish I had persevered and received my PhD so that I could be competitive for more job positions.

05.) Describe your top positive characteristics.

1. Intelligent. This is probably my most obvious positive trait. I have a Master's degree in astrophysics and I tech college. I also have a college minor in literature. Not to imply that people who don't have access to education can't also be intelligent, but I do think that this shows my intelligence clearly.

2. Trustworthy. If I were in a Divergent faction, it would be Candor. I say what I mean. This makes me trustworthy because if I say something you can trust that it's true and also if I say I will do something, you can trust that I will.

3. Searching. I tend to look beneath the superficial aspects of people and situations to attempt to discover the motives, feelings, and truths of the situation.

4. Friendly. I like people and I enjoy learning about and from others.

5. Caring. On the 'liking people' front, I also want the best for others, and I want them to find their own peace and happiness.

06.) Describe your top negative characteristics.

1. Complex. I have Bipolar II and 'I contain multitudes' in general so I think I am very complex for others to interact with and I certainly have trouble understanding myself sometimes as well. I bet there are eighteen contradictions in this application, for instance. Like, I think I say I identify with Sirius for some of the same things I say I despise Snape for, or at least some related things. But I'm not going to warp my intuitive answers to be consistent with my other answers. Plus I sound do logical but I just said I answered these intuitively. SO MANY CONTRADICTIONS.

2. Self-conscious. Part of being searching is that I am constantly evaluating my actions and reactions from the vantage of hindsight, and that makes me self-conscious about repeating those same actions and reactions in the future.

3. Proud. I guess this comes from having self-esteem, but sometimes I believe in my positive traits to a point of excess and thus can become defensive in the face of criticism.

4. Idealistic. I usually put this as a positive trait but it can be negative as well. I treat people and situations as I wish they were more so than as how they are. For instance, I might trust someone who asks for my password for a benign reason and then I am shocked when they hack my shit because I guess I just don't think that way.

5. Calculating. Sometimes I am logical and searching to a fault and I speak and act in ways that make sense to me from a logical standpoint, but not from an emotional standpoint. For instance I've turned in my friends to authorities before and lost friends over it. I guess I just thought that when someone does something wrong the world is a better place if they get help, but I didn't consider that it would feel and look like betrayal from their standpoint.

07.) Pick a favorite quote and explain what it means to you.
"Speak what you think today in words as hard as cannonballs and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) I guess it reminds me to speak my opinion and to not worry about consistency because I contain multitudes and consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds. Real people evaluate and re-evaluate their positions and change their opinions as their viewpoints and circumstances change, and that's nothing to be ashamed of, not matter what politicians might tell you.

| DRACO DORMIENS NUNQUAM TITILLANDUS |

08.) Who is your favorite Harry Potter character? Sirius Black. Sirius is actually the character I wish I were most like. That's not to say that I wish I had his faults. The problem is that I do already have his faults: I am very stubborn and can be argumentative when my viewpoint is challenged, I tend to put too much stock into rather artificial divisions like Hogwarts houses, and I tend to trust people far more than they deserve. Thus, when they do something anyone might have expected them to do, I see it as a complete betrayal and I can't get over that betrayal. We both put way too much stock in people and in friendship to the point of often believing that if someone is my friend they won't hold anything against me. I can see myself 'expecting' forgiveness from my friends simply because what are friends if they aren't automatically forgiving? So sometimes I consider when people simply hold me accountable for my actions as someone being unreasonably unforgiving. Likewise I do ill-advised things with good intentions and I'm fairly bad at thinking about or predicting consequences. I can say and do things flippantly that have far-ranging consequences beyond what I considered possible. I often also expect attention, friendship, devotion, and respect. I see all of these traits in Sirius and in myself. However, I think I have fewer positive traits than Sirius does and I wish I had more of his positive traits. I wish I were as brave as Sirius. I sometimes wish I were as unconcerned with consequences as is Sirius; my life could use a little more excitement. Plus I care too much about what others think of me. Sirius doesn't, and I think it helps him make more difficult decisions about doing the right thing even when it will make people dislike him. I usually do the right thing regardless of what others think of me, but I also agonize for a long time over the decision. I just wish I could do the right thing and be happy with that. One quality I think is good and that I have in common with Sirius is a willingness to die for my friends and the fact that I consider my friends closer to me than most of my family. I would have left my family if I thought it was the right thing to do just as Sirius did, but I would have been bitter and depressed for years that they decided to let me go so easily. I guess I also try not to show my insecurities except to my friends, and perhaps Sirius is like that as well. It's both tempting and easy to hide your insecurities by attacking others, showing only bravado, and being generally unapologetic for your actions. Sirius and I both have these defense mechanisms. I think I will probably die in a very anti-climactic way too, like Sirius. I will probably be strangled to death by a scarf or something as ridic as curtains. When you guys look back and discuss my death, feel free to laugh.

09.) Least favorite? Severus Snape. He picked on children because he felt insecure. That's inexcusable, no matter how many loves-of-his-life he had sent to the grave. He made Lupin resign, clearly showing that he puts past prejudices over the academic well-being of Hogwarts students. Also, shampoo.

10.) Who would you have been friends with at Hogwarts? EVERYPONY.Probably people more like Fred and George or the Marauders, fun-loving, trustworthy, and accepting people (I know the Marauders didn't always seem accepting, but it was people who did immoral things that they judged harshly and I am the same way). In high school I was always about having parties-- I threw parties ALL THE TIME and most everyone was my friend.

11.) What would you most enjoy about your time at Hogwarts? Probably band/orchestra if there was one, or possibly quidditch, or really ALL THE EXTRACURRICULARS. Because that's also how I was in high school. I have a hard time not participating in everything.

12.) Describe each of the four houses as you see them:
Gryffindor: Gryffindors believe that certain things are Right and other things are Wrong and that you should stand up for the Right and against the Wrong no matter the consequences to yourself. To a Gryffindor, that is courage.

Hufflepuff: Hufflepuffs are hard working, prone to keeping their heads down and their hands to the grindstone. They are 'the salt of the Earth'.

Ravenclaw: Ravenclaws value knowledge and learning above all else.

Slytherin: Slytherins value their own goals highly and are willing to work hard, or to work around the loopholes, to achieve their goals.


13.) Which house do you feel the least affinity for?I feel some affinity for all of them, but I have to admit that in the section above it was Ravenclaw that I had the hardest time describing. I value knowledge and learning very highly, but I can't imagine valuing it 'above all else', though perhaps that is unfair to Ravenclaws and that's not what they value. They say "wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure" and I disagree. Since college I've felt that while I covet knowledge and learning and wisdom, it's not a treasure but a curse, and I curse that keeps on giving. You begin, as you learn, to feel alienated from the average people around you. As they say, "ignorance is bliss". I often wish I could or even do manage to shut off my brain and enjoy life, because when my brain is on I often don't enjoy life much. I guess I'm the smart person who pretends to be stupid so that people will want to be around me.
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